The Best (and worst) love and sex advice from Ryerson students

There’s an agony aunt in all of us

words by charlize alcaraz
visuals by laila amer

The Best (and worst) love and sex advice from Ryerson students

There’s an agony aunt in all of us

Absolutely down bad: that’s how we would describe you heartbroken babies after learning more about you from our Love and Sex survey. You can take a look at a summary of the results below, but in this article we salvaged some of the more useful answers (that thankfully have nothing to do with masturbating to Mad Eye Moody—an unfortunately very real answer). This year the survey explored what Ryerson students have learned about love, sex and everything in between *outside* of relationships, whether that be from the media, non-romantic relationships or from themselves. Below you’ll find some of the best advice Ryerson students had to give, as well as some responses that were too funny to keep to ourselves.

Do you think “breaking up” with a close friend can be as painful as breaking up with a romantic partner? Why or why not?

“I think it’s just as bad. I treat my romantic partner as my best friend so I treat them the same. My close friends are just as important to me as my partner as they have a big impact in my life.”

“I don’t break up I just fall out with them by moving lol.”

“Yes. Close friends can often have a more intimate relationship with us than romantic partners and we’re less likely to set boundaries, so friend breakups can be kinda messy.”

“No, I have been there before. It’s definitely weird not having that person there anymore but also a relief. Personally speaking, I can’t fake a conversation let alone a friendship so if I have made up [my] mind that I no longer want to be friends, I’ll start to distance myself hoping that said person gets the hint.”

“It’s painful in different ways but the level of hurt is the same. I find it easier to let go of friends and be over it and recognize their faults almost immediately, but it’s harder to do with a romantic relationship and takes years for some reason.”

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What’s the worst self-love advice you’ve heard?

“Cut off everyone and focus on yourself.”

“That it’s only face masks and baths. Self-love can be so many different things.”

“Stop masturbating lol”

“To always be positive. I think that can make people feel worse when they have bad days and aren’t able to accept not every day has to be a happy one. The bad days are just as beneficial to us as the good days.”

“Hey, at least you don't look like Danny Devito yet.”

“You can’t love anyone else unless you love yourself first! Shut up, I’m depressed.”

“Treat yourself. Now I’m broke.”

What's the most valuable thing you've learned about love outside of a relationship and how did you learn it?

“We get infatuated so quickly and get heart broken just as quickly. It takes time to build a deep layered connection with someone and you can't get that from a crush you've barely spent time with. I learned this after spending so much time on Tinder and getting attached way too quickly over people I didn't even know. It did me wonders getting over social media and Tinder because while I was talking to a bunch of people, I was still lonely inside.”

“I learnt how to pronounce Worcestershire.”

“There isn't something wrong with you if a relationship ends and by extension, blame doesn't have to be assigned when a relationship ends. Some combinations of people just aren't the best mix for different types of relationships.”

“From my parents, I know that love is often about negotiating; that sometimes both parties’ needs can't fully be met but that if you love each other, you'll do your best to accommodate the other. I also know that love means making sacrifices. My dad would do anything for my mom and I mean that. So when I got into my first serious relationship and saw my boyfriend taking it personally when I asked for things or acting as if it was such a nuisance, but then seeing that he expected me to drop everything for him, I knew it was time to go!”

“Love is absolutely everywhere and is a part of absolutely everything, and is an unlimited resource, [so] why hoard it? Learned it from thinking deep into myself and why I wasn’t giving out love freely.”

“You should wake up every day and want to give people love (in whatever way/form that is for you), that’s how you know you’re truly happy and at peace with yourself. Learned it from my therapist!”

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